Currently in Saint Claire, it is raining heavily. The temperature is 44 degrees Fahrenheit (6 degrees Celsius). The wind is currently coming in from the north at 13 mph. The barometric pressure reading is 29.42 and rising, and the relative humidity is 100 percent. The dewpoint is 44 degrees Fahrenheit (6 degrees Celsius.)
You paged Douglas with 'Okay. Dylan comes to the Church to find Douglas, and tells him to follow him (Dylan). His manner is somewhat withdrawn, even a little abrupt, though not unkind. Does Douglas agree to come along?'.
Douglas pages: Dylan is Douglas' elder, he feels he has no choice but to accept.
You paged Douglas with 'It is pouring rain. Dylan leads Douglas through the city, over the bridge to Kent Crossing, and from there into the woods. The walk takes about an hour. At this point, it becomes clear that Dylan is leading Douglas onto the bawn. Does Douglas say anything, or just follow?'.
Douglas pages: Douglas continuously looks up at Dylan, trying to catch his eyes or get some sort of signal through that he is confused and uneasy about this journey. But he doesn't openly question where Dylan is leading him.
Long distance to Douglas: Dylan asks, "Do you have a question, Douglas?"
From afar, Douglas sighs with a bit of relief and nods. "I believe that Robert has told me to stay off the bawn. I have heard no message telling me otherwise... I do not mean to say that you do not know what you are doing... but unless there is something I do not know, which is most likly the case in this situation as well as many others, I should not step foot upon the bawn."
Long distance to Douglas: Dylan nods. "There is something you know but do not remember. In any case, you are permitted to come." He continues into the woods, moving far more quietly than a man of his height and age should be able.
From afar, Douglas, suddenly, after a moment of confusion passes over him, smiles brightly. Seeming to enjoy the idea of returning to the bawn his steps quicken a bit and he lags just behind Dylan. Then a sudden mood of realization hits him as he ponders Dylan's words. That look of confusion returns to him ever so quickly, as he again ponders what is to come.
The Clearing Formerly Known As 'Bone Arches'
This clearing stands deep in the forest, hidden by tall trees, and feels strangely ...empty. Though it's a perfectly normal clearing, there's the haunting feeling that there should be something here, beyond the grasses and small shrubs that stand sheltered from the wind by the surrounding woods - but those are all that can be seen.
Winding through the underbrush, a number of trail-like impressions can be seen in the dirt. The most prominent of these leads southwest.
Contents:
Arlen
Casper
Sepdet
Obvious exits:
Forest
Lightseeker pads in, evidently following Sepdet's trail, and soon settles near her.
Casper slips in, walking just to the side of an already well-worn path. The rain presses down on him but his head is high as he floats into the area. A silent scan of the area and thoughtful nods are given to the two other presences here. He stops walking. Stands. Waits.
Sepdet is seated crosslegged with fingertips resting lightly on the ground on either side of her knees in the empty place where Magpie's dream-pouch once stood (albeit before the memory of many of those gathered here.) There is a small bowl of water on the ground before the seated Seer, a round-bellied earthenware jar on one side of it, and a bowl of sputtering and flaming incense on the other. Her face is tranquil, although her expression is rather remote, focussed on the sway and shiver of the branches of the trees on the far side of the clearing.
Dylan steps through the opening into the clearing, sodden wet and near-silent in his movements. He has braided his long hair back, and his face holds the remote stillness that may be familiar to those who have fought at his side. Behind him is Douglas.
Lightseeker, ensconsed on the ground next to Sepdet, raises her head at this arrival.
Douglas stepping in behind Dylan walking in a similar, but not exact duplicate, style to that of his elder's. The thick curls of his soaking wet hair have fallen onto his face and this adds to the confused look worn in his eyes. However, even though he is confused, he seems a bit happy to glance about real nature for once in a good long while.
Dylan glances around the clearing, taking note of the occupants, and dips his head. "Thank you, all of you, for coming. Paul had hoped to be here also, but something has required his attention on the other side. He may be able to join us later." The Stargazer elder motions Douglas forward, and gestures to the clearing at large. "Please, Douglas, sit down. Be at ease. I am going to ask you a few questions, but first, do you have any questions of your own?" Something flickers in the clear gray eyes, and he makes a small, oddly formal gesture which takes in everyone there. "Of me, or of anyone here...about anything?"
Douglas steps forward a with a bit of a calmed anxiousness. "I of course wish to know of the reason we are all here, but I am sure that will be revealed to me on it's own. I have no questions that are known to me that I feel I need answers to at this time... except perhaps, Who are all of you? I have told you all of myself, but I know so little of you."
Casper falls back to the trunk of a tree and leans on it, looking at Douglas, expression a wall that lets none of the churning waters of his mind leak out.
Lightseeker just looks annoyed. Apparently, she's in a practical mood.
Sepdet stirs from her half-trance and says curtly, "You know our names. You've seen us work. Tonight, I am observer and performing theurge services for your elder."
Lightseeker is Fury and Weasel-daughter and analyst. At your service. Have any more amazingly vague questions?
Dylan watches Douglas remotely from where he stands, back to a beech tree near the entrance. "Not a question that can be answered in words or in an evening. You may want to make occasion to learn further after tonight. If you have no other questions, then we will begin. Hope?"
Douglas looks to Sepdet then Lightseeker and finally rests his gaze on Dylan, these seem to suffice as answers for now. As Douglas' features lose their their tightness of confusion and he visibly relaxes.
Sepdet nods quietly, after checking Douglas' reaction, and begins.
Sepdet begins a rhythmic whispering chant. ~Chimaira. Morpheai. Khons. Dream-shaper. Netcherw. Stars' children call. Hekatonomai. Chimaira.~ She intermingles the totem's familiar name with others more obscure, weaving a quiet tapestry of syllables and strange clicking and ssshhhh-ing sounds. As she speaks, she takes up the stoppered pot and uncorks it, then begins to drip an oily liquid into the water-bowl, stirring it lightly with a finger. Dimly reflecting the light of the incense burner, the water takes on opalescent streaks and swirls of faint color.
Casper, the observer, settles back fully against the tree, finding some shelter from the rain. He touches the bark of the tree and murmurs to himself.
Douglas looks over to Sepdet, and his face takes on the blankness that is not unlike the gaze of a child, who's vision is caught by a ray of light that capture's his mind.
Lightseeker's nose twitches at the liquid, but she remains silent.
Sepdet scoops up a small finger-full of the grainy incense and ash and scatters that too on the bowl, still chanting. Then she deftly and quickly transfers a burning bit to the water's surface. Instantly the thin lines and streaks of oil catch fire, painting abstract patterns of cool blue and yellow flame which dance and flicker as raindrops strike the bowl. Some hop out onto the damp earth, but quickly fade or are quashed by a fingertip as the watchful Strider continues her abstract Summons.
Li Kao appears, reclining on the air, giddily singing something in Chinese. He appears to notice that he is not where he was a moment ago, stops singing mid-note, and peers around with small sharp eyes. "Well, well, well."
Lightseeker's expression sours slightly.
l Li Kao
Your first impression is one of age, and the next is one of squalor. This raven spirit has wrinkles upon wrinkles in his venerable face, and his black feathers thin to nothing upon the crown of his aged head. He is clad in the tattered remnants of a cotton scholar's robe in dark-blue and white, complete with a little flat cap tilted off the back of his head. The once crisp cotton is wrinkled fit to match the raven's face, worn through in most places, and stained variously and mysteriously. His sandals can only be described as a disgrace. In one feathered hand, this spirit grips a clay jar bound with wickerwork, from which arises a rather pungent alcoholic reek.
Douglas looks to the new arrival and a familiarity sets in. His expression doesn't seem to change, but his manner of sitting has straightened up a bit.
Sepdet sits back and dips her eyes respectfully. "Thank you, old one."
"My lord," Dylan says blankly, and only the fact that he has never been heard to swear by anything but his Mother makes this a greeting rather than mild profanity. He stares at the wizened raven spirit. Apparently this is not entirely what he anticipated.
Li Kao flips a hand in casual greeting to Sepdet and takes a swig from the wine jar. "My pleasure, Strider-elder. So, what's the occasion?"
Douglas looks to Sepdet once again, for he has been awaiting the answer to this question himself.
Lightseeker's nose wrinkles. Her expression actually lightens a bit, as she watches him; anyway, she's not holding herself ready to scramble out of the way anymore.
Sepdet nods towards Douglas and Dylan. "Matters of the Stargazer tribe, sir." She gives her packmate a silent glance, one brow raising.
Casper's mouth stops working as the raven arrives. He watches him in open surprise, eyes wide and wondering.
Dylan senses Sepdet is surreptitiously checking to see if you want her to "hang up" and try for a different spirit. ;)
Sepdet senses "Dylan isn't sure yet, but thinks not..."
Dylan gazes at the spirit in mild bemusement. "Lord Li of Kao," he says. "How pleasant and startling it is to see you. We were calling for my Lady Chimera. Are you our answer?"
Li Kao considers this gravely. "I have been known to work for that Lady, from time to time," he admits.
Sepdet's expression becomes a little sterner. "And tonight?" she queries politely, eyes skipping thoughtfully over the spirit's ramshackle condition (although of course the metis Strider's own sense of acceptable attire has at times caused her to be mistaken for a Gnawer.)
Long distance to Li Kao: Dylan respectfully clicks on Truth of Gaia. Sir.
From afar, Li Kao bows in response. "I have nothing to hide," he twinkles.
Li Kao regards Sepdet sharply. "Tonight, I think, I serve those whom I am called to. If you called for Chimera, than Chimera I am for you." He bows a bow of remarkable grace - and steadiness.
Dylan inclines his head. "Welcome, then," he says, and there is a kind of helplessness that breaks through the wall of his reserve. "The occasion is nothing more than the asking of a few questions, which I would ask you to witness, if you would be so good."
Douglas, his gaze having wandered back to the raven, now again looks to Dylan as he speaks.
Sepdet's expression eases at the spirit's response, and she leans back to listen.
Li Kao nods his head formally to Dylan. "I will be your witness to the Lady, should there be need. And I will myself witness, as well."
Dylan nods, and turns to Douglas. "Drinks the Mirage," he says, "Twice, before this, I have asked you under somewhat formal conditions to tell the story of the ritual which Lord Li assisted in, some time ago. Why do you think I did that?"
Douglas looks down slightly in thought. "I believed that you wanted to know, if understood what truly happened during that ritual."
You paged Douglas with 'That was "if I understood"?'.
Douglas pages to the room: Er... "... if 'I' understood..."
Dylan regards the cub levelly. "And?"
Douglas looks up again thought still flowing in his mind. "I think I... I understand."
Casper looks at Douglas from beneath a the sheltering green needles, mouth shrunken and closed tightly.
Li Kao clears his throat with a sound like a warped door opening. "Understanding," he says to the indifferent heavens, "is as one side of a coin, whose other side is eloquence."
Sepdet's mouth quirks faintly at Li's pronouncement.
The answer leaves Dylan unmoved, though whatever light Li Kao's appearance brought to his expression is absent now. "What was the role played by the 'great one,' Lord Li of Kao?" he asks, looking at the cub rather than the spirit he names.
Douglas gives the spirit a quick look, taking in what he says respectfully, then returning his gaze to Dylan. He seems to be stuggling for the right word as he says straight out. "Cheerleader. He was making me understand that I was in control of my fear and that I was stronger then I believed. Through the elaborate ritual the great one made me realize that I can never know if what I understand is true. Made me feel that I should always question my understanding, as if it could be and was false."
Douglas is now perspiring a good deal. His fear of the wrong answer, while not shown by his face or manner, is being betrayed by the sweat glands of his body.
Li Kao smothers an apparent coughing fit in his sleeve, and revives himself with a healthy gulp of wine.
Dylan's expression does not alter, but he seems to grow infinitesimally older. "Why was there a bane in your shadow?"
Douglas looks down towards the ground before Dylan before he thinks to answer this question. "My grandfather, did... something, to anger the Wyrm enough that a curse was placed on my blood. What he did I can't remember, but that he did something... somehow I know."
Casper clutches at one shoulder, rubbing at an ache. He turns his eyes down, letting his ears do the work of sucking in information.
Lightseeker spends most of her time apparently ignoring Douglas and instead focusing on the visitor.
Sepdet watches the cub steadily, intently, but almost expressionlessly, in contrast to the others.
Li Kao splutters. Indignation relieves him of the ability to speak, but only for a moment. "Rot! Paint slapped over dry rot and gilded with lies! Do you think the Wyrm can focus small enough to even notice one insignificant garou?" He points one be-feathered finger at Sepdet. "*She* has been annoying the Wyrm since her birth!" The hand swings to Casper. "*He* has made a career - or a philosophy, it's hard to tell which - out of irritating the Wyrm!" He takes a moody swig of wine. "You *all* annoy the Wyrm. That's what you *do*. Except when you don't."
Lightseeker cocks her head very slightly at this rant, fascinated.
Sepdet's lips curl into a faint snarl as the finger gets jabbed her way, in spite of the backhanded praise. But she doesn't take her eyes off Douglas yet.
Casper raises his eyebrows at the hoary raven's statement. He restrains a grin quite easily, given the circumstances.
Douglas, startled looks up to Li Kao, and his empty eyes seems to be locked on the spirit. He calls up to the spirit with barely enough restraint to keep his cool, "I don't know! Perhaps the /curse/ was just a lie it planted within me to make my fear strong enough to be useful. Perhaps the Wyrm saw someone so insignificant and small that it could easily use to steal into the caern. Maybe it had nothing truly to do with the Wyrm at all! I don't know. Or if I do know, I can't understand. I wish I could understand why I was singled out amoung others much more powerful then myself. But that understanding seems to elude me everytime I search for it."
Li Kao nods thoughtfully. "Now *those* are good answers. Tell me, Douglas, which of them do you believe?"
Douglas still locked on the great one, now truly looks thoughtful. His face goes blank in wonder, his mind churning with ideas and thought. Eventually he takes a breath and instead of letting his mind look through alleyways that have led him nowhere before, he speaks quickly. He takes what is on his mind right then and there on the matter without deluting it in his usual false reasoning, "It's all been a lie? A hoax? ... A test?"
Li Kao turns to look at Dylan, deferring to him.
Douglas pages to the room: Please mind the spelling errors, I'm a little nervous right now. :)
Sepdet catches her lip in her teeth, startlement taking some of the pins and prickles out of usually somber expression.
"It has all been over," Dylan says quietly, his voice like stone, "for a long time." That, it seems, is the end of that matter, for the Elder moves on. "Why were you at first reluctant to kill the bane, when it was imprisoned at last?"
Lightseeker starts licking a paw; she's still listening, though.
Douglas speaks again, quieting himself a bit, but none the less speaking quickly as he was before. "As I see it now, the 'bane' seemed to represent something other then just the wyrm, something in myself that was reluctant to be simply crushed."
Li Kao is not looking at anyone in the clearing. Already ancient, he seems to have suddenly aged. He opens his beak, but what comes out is not his voice: "May I let the bane live? Trapped as long as possible in this small prison knowing that it shall forever be imprisioned never to enjoy the harvest of fear it loves...I want this creature of wyrm to, not suffer, but pay for it's crime...I believe that death is to short and sweet a punishment." It is like a recording.
Lightseeker flicks an ear, lip curling at merely the memory of the sentiment.
Sepdet takes a deep breath and lets it go even more slowly.
The gentle wind blows over Casper but not through him. The water dripping from the lolling branches overheads drips on him, but he does not notice. His attention is focussed, but where?
Douglas snaps to understanding as he hears his own frail voice. Now, a glimmer appears in his dull gray eyes. "It was me. I wanted to suffer for being what I was. I didn't understand then what I was feeling... I felt a fear of everything I couldn't understand. I didn't want to torture any bane, I wanted to torture myself. I wanted to let /MY/ bane live on to hurt me till it was over. And I know why. I was truly afraid of letting you down. Everytime I talked with you, your cold face, no matter the feeling that I thought I saw in your eyes, burned worse then any fire. The indifference all around me made me feel less then perfect. Perfect, like you Dylan." he says this last right after he turns to stare at Dylan, a tear in his eyes. "Then, I didn't understand what I felt. Now I do. But now I also understand what you mean to me, and what I mean to you."
Lightseeker, lip still slightly curled, observes, I do so love angst.
Sepdet rises to her feet with a jerk, but speaks slowly, carefully, and quietly.~You were gloating then, cub, with a pride and joy over a vanquished enemy. You all but licked your chops at the chance to _torture_, to _maim_, to preserve something smaller than yourself just so you could kick it for all time. You refused direct orders to destroy the Wyrm--a pathetic excuse for Wyrm, but Wyrm still. That was not the act of one ashamed. That was not an act of misery. And if anyone here has ever seen such a creature as Dylan, indifferent--well, the Apocalypse is at hand.~
The lines in Dylan's face are carved deep with weariness and something more. A weight seems to settle on his shoulders. He bows his head, and for a moment there is no sound louder than the relentless falling of the rain. Then he looks up again and says, "Douglas Altman, called Drinks-the-Mirage, you have failed your Rite of Passage. You will not die for it. Nothing more is forfeit than your tribe. And nothing less." He turns his head. Still speaking to Douglas, his eyes are on Li Kao; he says quietly, "You do not question your world or yourself. You have not looked into yourself, you have not asked for help, and you have not learned from the help that has been given you. Your sole insight of the night has been an attempt to shift responsibility onto someone else's shoulders." He takes a slow breath and lets it out, looking back at the cub. "You are not a Stargazer."
Douglas sits, seeming blasted away... his heart doesn't beat for a moment while he takes in what he has heard as if it is the most impossible thing that has ever been said. He mutters to himself, hoping for Dylan to hear. "I didn't shift my blame to you Dylan... I spoke my emotions. I thought that was what you wanted..." after this he just continues to sit there and think on what was happening here, something is wrong.
Lightseeker raises her head from her paw, watching, not Douglas, but Dylan.
Sepdet lets out a faint sigh and makes a soft sound under her breath.
Casper sighs quietly with the wind. He lolls his head like a scarecrow and murmurs, "Emotions are only one part... Balance, Douglas, balance..."
Lightseeker thinks he wanted truth. As well as emotion. And logic. And many other things that are not qauntifiable.
Sepdet crosses her arms. ~It is not a question of doing what an elder _wants_. I have had this argument with others before. It is a question of what a tribe is. Stargazers understand. Stargazers explain. Stargazers challenge others to think carefully. You are not well suited to these things.~
Lightseeker adds, Which is no crime. Finding out what you are not is a step to finding out what you are.
Li Kao turns to look at Dylan. He says, gently, "Chimera stands by your decision." He looks away for a moment. "It is hard, being an elder."
Douglas slowly attempts to stand, but finds that his legs are weak beneath him. He can't find the strength to unflex his knees at all. "I was born a stargazer." is all he can bring himself to say, and not even this at full volume.
Li Kao looks at Douglas with compassion. "We are not all what we were born to be."
Sepdet gives a faint sigh at that. ~Thank Gaia.~
Lightseeker has become something far different than what she thought she was born for. We all have.
Douglas still sits there, waiting for some other judgement to pass, for him to wake up from this nightmare, so like many others he has had. "I am a Stargazer..." he doesn't appear to be really listening to what everyone is saying.
Sepdet's voice cracks like a whip, sharper than Dylan would ever speak. ~Why?~
"Why?" Li Kao scratches his bald head. "My lady Strider, if we knew that, we would be done with the Great Wheel of Transmigrations."
Sepdet glances sidelong at the bird, muttering, ~I'm trying to make a point here, oh Wise One.~
Dylan takes the two steps necessary to bring him closer to the cub he has taught. He sinks into a crouch at the boy's side, and though his expression is gaunt with this night's work, his voice is still gentle. "You are a garou, and capable of being a good one. You are an ahroun, and there is great honor in that. Walk well upon the lovely land, Douglas Altman. Find a tribe you can love without grief."
Casper slowly raises his hand to Douglas, palm out. A gesture of respect. He nods.
Douglas looks up to Dylan and shakes suddenly, violently, "I understood what I felt Dylan. I tried to look deeper because I felt it was another lie. And I didn't blame you! I never could... though I really don't expect you to accept me as a stargazer now. I still do know that I am a Stargazer... I spoke the wrong words, but I know the right ones."
Lightseeker rises to her feet, disdain trying to erupt out of her, but held still. Peace, Mirage Drinker. Peace.
Sepdet backs away and lets her arms drop to her sides, taking another steadying breath. Whatever point she was trying to make is dropped quietly, in the wake of Dylan's kinder words.
Li Kao heaves a sigh. He inclines his head to all in the clearing, and slowly allows his spirit shape to dissolve and fade away.
Li Kao pages: When you get back to your tent tonight, you will find Li Kao's wine jar there. It no longer smells like paint-remover, but the contents would insure at least one night's good sleep.
Douglas falls to lie down on his back looking up, not caring about the dirt or the water or anything else.
Dylan stands up again, and slips off into the darkness of the woods and the rain.
Sepdet exhales and begins to collect the remains of her summons-rite in silence, leaving the cub his privacy.
Information for Douglas (Alias 'Mirage-Drinker'):
Douglas is connected.
Location: The Clearing Formerly Known As 'Bone Arches'
Other Name(s): Douglas Altman , Drinks-the-Mirage / Mirage-Drinker (cub-name)
Race: Garou Sex: male
Breed: Homid Auspice: Ahroun
Tribe: Ronin Rank: 0 (Cub)
Pack: None. When I RoP, I'll be happy to. Sept: Hidden Walk.
2/19/99